First Check Up

Well I had my first three month check up for the whole cancer thing on Monday.  I have to say the whole thing of it weighed on me much more than I realized.  I was wiped out that evening and all day Tuesday and I think I'm finally starting to feel a bit better today.

Let me be clear that I knew I was fine.  I really knew in the bottom of my soul that they would not find anything but really who in the world thinks that there life will be filled with 3 month checkups for cancer.  I certainly never thought I would.  And yet here I am.   Thankfully here I am.  I would rather endure this then at the age of 65 or so find out I have stage 4 bladder cancer and nothing can really be done.

If I haven't said it before let me say now that I LOVE my doctor.  I thank my angels for aligning things so that I have him.   He has the best attitude about this whole thing and that in and of itself helps me to immediately feel at ease whenever I am around him.  This is HUGE I tell you - HUGE.  When I walked in he said to "Oh you decided to come back"  my response......"I didn't think it was optional"  to which he just smiled.

I am also lucky enough that my husband left work early to join me.   He doesn't have to come every time but I had no idea what to expect on this first appointment and that was what was scary.   Scary because I had no idea what they were going to do, how invasive it would be, or how long it would take.  It meant the world to me to have his hand to hold.   As it turns out it the whole thing took less than 30 minutes total.   I got there a little early and sat in the waiting room until it was my time while I drank some water so I could perform the duties asked of me.   They called me into the back and I gave them a "sample" and then went into the room.  I was cleaned and a gel of the numbing kind was applied and then I waited.   Within a couple of minutes the doctor came in and we checked everything with a small scope.   When I say we checked, yes I mean from the inside, and no it didn't hurt.  It actually was kind of fascinating.  There is a small screen and you can actually see what the doctor sees.  He showed my all the walls of my bladder, where the kidneys are connected, and where my scar was from the surgery.   How amazing is it the we can even do that?   Truly!   And how lucky am I that we have this technology. 

A more advanced society gives us tools to detect and monitor things our grandparents couldn't.   But then again we also have many elements in our daily lives that stress our bodies in ways that our grandparents never had to deal with so it all goes hand in hand I guess.

After we were done G went to pick up Pickle and I went to Old Gravy to return some swim trunks for Pickle that were too big.   I was still in a bit of a daze. 

That night I swear I was asleep by 8 and didn't wake until the alarm went off at 4:45.   The same thing happened last night - although I think it might of made it until 9.  

I will go back in September and until then I will not think about it every day but it still is a part of me.  Things will trigger me to remember that I am a Cancer Survivor.  Remember life changes you - in good ways and in bad.  Until then I plan to smile a lot, laugh a lot,  hug those I love, and blow lots of bubbles for my Pickle.



And the journey continues.................................